*UPDATED 12/28/2020*
After re-reading this post I just want to note: while it sounds angry, resentful and mean...I was hurting in an extreme way earlier in the month that I originally wrote this. It seems pretty clear to me that I must have still been hanging on subconsciously to my ex, and some of my emotions came out. He is not a villain. No I’m not saying this for any other reason than to let you, the readers know...Peace of mind will come. I promise you. Everything you need is already inside of you.
❤️
My standards have sure changed since my 2nd husband left. Like, I will never again let a man monopolize every single weekend, to the degree we are always with HIS family/friends and never with mine. At my age, and the age of my own kids, I also don’t want a man who has minor children. Just a personal preference. And for the first few years-ish, we will not merge our families on family style holidays. In fact, I really don’t even want to meet his family, or him meet mine, until we have been exclusive for at least a year.
Sure, that sounds like a lot of stipulations. But, it’s what I need. “You’ll be single forever if you’re that picky” - FINE. I literally would rather die alone, single, then ever sacrifice my needs ever again. As soon as you sacrifice one, you will end up sacrificing another. And another...to the degree that eventually, you won’t even know who you are.
Don’t want to drink alcohol every night? Then don’t get involved with someone who does. YES, pay attention. Get yourself a handful of those little 5x7” notebooks. They’re cheap. Journal right away about men you’re dating. (Guys, you can do this too). Write the shit down. And save it.
Whatever it is you have boundaries with, pay attention to whether or not s/he is pushing them. The easiest way to do that is to write everything down.
For example: ME. I have a high sex drive, however...sexual compatibility is the LAST thing I’m worried about. Trust me. I’m a Sagittarius. I know what I’m doing in the bedroom. So one of MY requirements when dating, is, I’m not even going to ‘think’ about sex with you, until I feel like it. And I’m not going to tell you on the first date how long you have to wait, because I couldn’t even begin to tell you. However, I will NOT push my boundaries and do anything that I’m not ready for. And, if you push the boundary and make me uncomfortable, I will get up and walk the fuck out. Or hang up. Or just block you. Whatever it may be, I will not come around for even one more chance. I’m done. I’m done pushing my boundaries because “oh what if he’s good for me” type of crap. Honey, if he was good for you, your boundaries would not have been pushed. Read that again.
No more 2nd chances people. Trust your gut! Do NOT sacrifice yourself, your needs, your boundaries for any reason at all. And no, you do not need to list your boundaries - ever. YOU know them. Just pay attention.
Now, don’t for a minute think this applies to the rest of your life. This is ONLY during the dating phase. I mean, couples fight. If you’ve made it to the part of the relationship where you’re ready to be exclusive, then that is literally when you let these boundaries adjust as needed. Just always know, your intuition is never wrong. We will talk about intuition eventually.
Ok, enough of that. I’m going to go find something more productive to do.
Happy Thursday peeps!
Sure, that sounds like a lot of stipulations. But, it’s what I need. “You’ll be single forever if you’re that picky” - FINE. I literally would rather die alone, single, then ever sacrifice my needs ever again. As soon as you sacrifice one, you will end up sacrificing another. And another...to the degree that eventually, you won’t even know who you are.
Don’t want to drink alcohol every night? Then don’t get involved with someone who does. YES, pay attention. Get yourself a handful of those little 5x7” notebooks. They’re cheap. Journal right away about men you’re dating. (Guys, you can do this too). Write the shit down. And save it.
Whatever it is you have boundaries with, pay attention to whether or not s/he is pushing them. The easiest way to do that is to write everything down.
For example: ME. I have a high sex drive, however...sexual compatibility is the LAST thing I’m worried about. Trust me. I’m a Sagittarius. I know what I’m doing in the bedroom. So one of MY requirements when dating, is, I’m not even going to ‘think’ about sex with you, until I feel like it. And I’m not going to tell you on the first date how long you have to wait, because I couldn’t even begin to tell you. However, I will NOT push my boundaries and do anything that I’m not ready for. And, if you push the boundary and make me uncomfortable, I will get up and walk the fuck out. Or hang up. Or just block you. Whatever it may be, I will not come around for even one more chance. I’m done. I’m done pushing my boundaries because “oh what if he’s good for me” type of crap. Honey, if he was good for you, your boundaries would not have been pushed. Read that again.
No more 2nd chances people. Trust your gut! Do NOT sacrifice yourself, your needs, your boundaries for any reason at all. And no, you do not need to list your boundaries - ever. YOU know them. Just pay attention.
Now, don’t for a minute think this applies to the rest of your life. This is ONLY during the dating phase. I mean, couples fight. If you’ve made it to the part of the relationship where you’re ready to be exclusive, then that is literally when you let these boundaries adjust as needed. Just always know, your intuition is never wrong. We will talk about intuition eventually.
Ok, enough of that. I’m going to go find something more productive to do.
Happy Thursday peeps!
❗️Waning Moon 🌕 ➡️🌑 2%❗️
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