Witch? Which witch am I? A snarky one, for sure.

What should we write about today?  Should I ruffle anymore feathers or just let shit sit as it is?  I vote for feathers.

🖕🏻

I knew my arrival out here would freak a few people out.  I’ve been the pariah of this family for 28 years or more.  But, you see, the only reason I was the pariah, is because rather than getting all sides of the ‘story’ they only got one.  🤷‍♀️ Their loss really.  I’m used to it.  I’ve always been the scapegoat.  Not just in this family, but everywhere.  

I am very adept with my abilities.  Some people think it’s witchcraft 😂 but the people who aren’t ignorant and scared, know that all it is, is who I am.  I’m intuitive.  More so than most people.  I know things.  I dont know how I know, I just do.  Spirits visit me in dreams and give me messages.  I’ve always been a lucid dreamer.  I touch someone and feel what they are feeling.  I also have a very difficult time expressing my own feelings.  I’m a powerful manifester.  I’m deeply in touch with nature, the spirit world, and the universe.  Animals flock to me.  Strangers tell me their whole life story.  

I’m an Empath, and an HSP.  My personality type is INFJ, and my enneagram is 5w4.  My sun is Sagittarius, my moon is Leo and my rising is Aquarius.  I can look someone straight in the eyes and know without a doubt if they’re being truthful.  I am a natural lie detector.  I get “feelings” that tell me something is amiss, so I do what I must to reveal the truth.  Just ask my first husband, back when we were just dating and he was in Canada with the boys for a guys weekend.  😂 I can detect lies just through someones language.  The words they choose.  Their behavior when questioned.  How easily they are triggered over something they really know nothing about.  All of it shows the truth.  I just know how to see it, where most people dont.

I have studied human behavior my entire adult life.  You simply can’t bullshit me.  You might think you are, but that is only because I’ve chosen to let you carry on, rather than calling you out on it.  If it’s not worth my time, I don’t waste it.  I’ve got better things to do.

MMM witchcraft!  Wicca.  Pagan.  Witch.  I’ve been called worse.  It seriously cracks me up that people are afraid of me because I’m a witch lol.  Good grief.  This witch believes in God.  🤦‍♀️ Idiots.  My belief is that everything is connected.  From us on this earth, the animals and plants here, the sky, the clouds, the weather, the sun and the moon, the ocean and the tides, the Universe, the stars and the other planets...all of it is connected to God.  And to serve God also means to serve all that he has created.  All of it.  So if that makes me a witch, so be it.  I love crystals, rocks, plants, gems, old things, moss, creatures of all, bugs etc.  I light candles by color for specific blessings.  I do works (spells) for others, when asked, and sometimes when Not asked.  If I sense that someone I care about is struggling, I will light a specific candle, set up some specific crystals in a specific pattern, and put together some specific herbs for offering and I will meditate and chant for them to send healing and positive energy to them.  Yep.  I’m a witch.  

Again.  Idiots.  

I made a “witch jar” for a very special person a few months ago, and included a note.  This jar was to help him to stay his course, to find his strength and courage, and to remember who he is.  It was meant to help him.  I dont know if it did or not?  But, that was my intent.  

I do NOT practice black magic, although I could.  I certainly know how because I do have a dark side.  All of us do.  The reason I choose not to practice black magic is the Law of Attraction.  Every spell has a consequence.  No matter the intent, you always have to be prepared for the consequences.  So, because I like who I am when I’m being kind and compassionate, a hell of a lot more than when I’m angry and spiteful...I have chosen to avoid magic of all kinds when I’m angry.  I dont want to hurt anyone.  I only want to help.

I also don’t have any secrets.  Literally.  I’m an open book.  You just have to ask the right questions.  The only secrets I have, are those other’s have told me, or I’ve found out on my own...I don’t tell those secrets unless I’m backed into a corner.  Smart people won’t do that.  Stupid people will.  So, dont be stupid.

The people who know me, will tell you I am one of the nicest and most trustworthy people you will ever meet.  I definitely missed my calling lol.  I should have been a counselor.  Oh well.  I’m a fierce advocate for the people I love.  If I love you, you are one of the luckiest people around, because there is nothing I won’t do, to keep those I love happy and safe.  Nothing.  Well, as long as it doesn’t land me in jail, nothing.  Been there...I do NOT look good in orange, and well...I’m a nice person.  I dont belong in jail with the criminals.  I’m not a criminal.  Seriously.  Spotless all the way through.  I do not like to break the law.  

Most of my life people have misunderstood me.  And that is totally ok with me, because I don’t really like people anyway.  They bore me.  They annoy me.  Their bullshit aggravates me.  I really don’t have much patience when it comes to stupidity and arrogance.  Just be nice, sheesh!  How hard is that?  

In a perfect world, everyone I love, and everyone they love, would all be able to spend some time together in genuine openness, honesty and compassion.  All I want for the people I love, is their happiness, health, and to live the best life they can.  If I can help them do that, even better!  That is what makes me happy.  Being able to help other people find their true happiness.  

I was invited here.  Everything that has happened since my arrival, was already discussed before I even agreed to come here.  None of it was my idea.  I was floored at the invitation.  Even more so at the ‘offer’.  So I said yes.  Of course I’ll come help you.  The rest of it will be determined later, because....I am an honest fucking person.  If anyone is interested in knowing the actual whole story...starting way back before my arrival here was even a thought....I encourage them to come over on a weekend, peacefully, with an open mind, and listen.  Don’t talk.  Just listen.  IF after that, you STILL feel the way you do, well then, so be it.  It won’t change a thing, since everyone is allowed to do whatever they want with their lives...

What does your heart tell you?  You already know the truth.  Deep down inside, you know.  Don’t let your fears right now control your mind.  You literally have nothing to fear.  No one is losing anyone.  No one is ‘choosing’ anyone.  We are all just trying to find our own way in this fucked up world.  

I’m going to list a few things now that should give a reasonable person an idea into who I am.  

100 year old hand made quilt / drivers license / photos / Christmas items 

As soon as I saw that quilt and the note, I knew instantly who should have it. 🤔 Same with the drivers license and etc.  Who got it?  Exactly.

I’m done watching the people I love crying over this shit.  It’s pointless.  I’m also done worrying about everyone else that isn’t under this roof.  My only goal is to protect them and help them.  You want to know my intentions?  Come and ask.  Seriously!  I’ve got nothing to hide.  

Plus, now that it’s out there that we are moving, there is a ton of stuff in this house that we aren’t taking.  If there is something here we aren’t taking, perhaps you want it??  

Whatever.  I give up.  I’ve extended the proverbial olive branch enough.  Even if you choose to stay away, and refuse to participate in our life...that’s ok.  His door is always open.  I will never stand in the way.  But I’m also not going anywhere.  As long as he wants me in his life, I will be in his life.  

My goal is to keep him alive and happy for another 25+ years.  I’m not the enemy ❤️ 

And...to lighten the mood a little... if I was actually capable of putting a “spell” on someone for my own personal gain, I’d have chosen someone with a lot more fucking money.  LOL 

As always, lead with love & light and you will be blessed.

💕 KJ 

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Empathy: Do you know it?

The ability to truly understand someones position

What exactly is empathy?  Do you know?  Google it.  Now think about some past memories where you were in a situation, where you had to try and understand what someone was going through.  Did you tell them that you knew what they were going through?  Or you’ve been there?  Were you though?  Did you actually experience the exact same thing?  Unlikely.  However, you can imagine what it must have felt like.  That is empathy.  Most people are quite capable of being empathetic to the people they care about.  That empathy, is how we are able to show love to someone who is hurting.  Could you show empathy to a stranger?  Probably.  I’m sure you’ve seen the homeless people out there.  Have you ever helped them?  Do you feel bad for them, and their lifestyle?  Do you ever wish you could do more to help them?  What do you think you could do for them?  Could you offer them housing?  Probably not.  What about clothes?  How about food?  Can you offer them a job, or some other way of getting off the street?  Have you ever considered just sitting with them and listening to their story?  How they became homeless?  Do you even care enough to ask?  Unfortunately, most people dont.  And, if you are in that category, then I bet you have some unresolved issues of your own that you need to deal with.  Why?  I’m glad you asked.  Stop frowning and keep reading.

People who have experienced their own trauma’s and haven’t dealt with them in a healthy way, are blocked.  Because of their own trauma, and the coping mechanisms they developed as a way of protecting themselves, blocks them from being able to be empathetic to others.  They are blocked from trying to understand others.  Blocked from having the ability to sit with them and talk.  There isn’t any room.  Because of the adolescent coping mechanisms they developed, they effectively blocked the most important part of them.  Their ability to show love to other’s in their times of need.  It’s too difficult for them to allow anymore drama/trauma into their lives.  Instead, they silently push people away and then the cycle continues.  They form a judgement based on immature ignorance, and never look at it again.  

I know this because I’ve done it.  It wasn’t until I dealt with my own trauma’s that I was able to fully unlock my truest self.  

If you didn’t hear it with your own ears, or see it with your own eyes, then don’t spread it with your mouth.  

It’s easy to pass a judgement.  

What could you be missing though?  You could miss out on the opportunity to make a new friend.  You could learn something.  You could even find your own healing in it.  

Wouldn’t it be better though, if we took the time to try to understand?  Imagine the incredible blessings you could experience, if for once, you just tried?  Open your minds my friends.  We stand to learn so much by learning to understand others.  The freedom that comes with owning your own truth, and being truly compassionate with other’s is indescribable.  

I challenge you to try it.  What could go wrong?  In truth, you have nothing to lose.  So what are you waiting for?

❤️ 

Always Love & Light 

MS, PMDD, weather &.......🤔

Getting a diagnosis isn’t as easy as you think

Every morning when I wake up I get to ask my body “what’s it gonna be today?”.  Sometimes it’s my ears that decide to act up, making it almost impossible to hear.  Almost always my hands are tingly, and quite often so numb that I can’t turn my phone on.  Lately, the cold weather makes every joint ache, and makes my ears wet (I’m experiencing inner ear issues).  

My mobility issues are interesting.  Sober, stoned or under the influence of alcohol...it doesn’t seem to matter.  I have balance problems, and drop foot a lot which then makes me trip My left hand at times is useless, so I just keep it close to my chest.  It takes a ton of effort just to get my fingers to cooperate enough to type.  I can’t write ✍️ for very long, because my fingers want to cramp up.  🤦‍♀️ 

If it isn’t MS messing with me, then it’s PMDD.  🩸 For several days in a row about a week or so before my period, I feel down and sad.  I have zero energy, and just want to be quiet.  Life gets a bit overwhelming when this happens.  There is SO much work to be done, but I feel just stuck.  Where do I even start?  When PMDD gets involved, every ounce of effort I give to a project takes so much mental energy from me that I just can’t function.  

Sometimes, between the two, I feel like I’m useless.  I forget words that used to be a regular part of my vocabulary.  I lose track of what I’m talking about in the middle of it. 🤐 I try to pick something up and it just doesn’t work.  I can’t get it in my fingers.  How am I supposed to fulfill my purpose, without the use of my words and hands?

I used to think I was just clumsy.  Now though, I can see where it was MS popping in.  However, warmer temperatures will make things a lot better!  My body won’t be so cold, and my ears should dry up a bit.  It’s definitely looking good for next week over here.  Sunny 😎 most of the week, which means...dump runs galore!  Lots to do to fix up this house! 😁 

As far as MS goes, there’s not much I can do except be careful with my diet, and pay super close attention when doing things.  PMDD will eventually subside, once menopause fully takes place.  

Until then, it is what it is, right?  Make your life what you can.  I’m exploring different things on my end, and making necessary adjustments. I’m excited for the future! 

2021 really is the year of blessings for us all ❤️