MS, PMDD, weather &.......🤔

Getting a diagnosis isn’t as easy as you think

Every morning when I wake up I get to ask my body “what’s it gonna be today?”.  Sometimes it’s my ears that decide to act up, making it almost impossible to hear.  Almost always my hands are tingly, and quite often so numb that I can’t turn my phone on.  Lately, the cold weather makes every joint ache, and makes my ears wet (I’m experiencing inner ear issues).  

My mobility issues are interesting.  Sober, stoned or under the influence of alcohol...it doesn’t seem to matter.  I have balance problems, and drop foot a lot which then makes me trip My left hand at times is useless, so I just keep it close to my chest.  It takes a ton of effort just to get my fingers to cooperate enough to type.  I can’t write ✍️ for very long, because my fingers want to cramp up.  🤦‍♀️ 

If it isn’t MS messing with me, then it’s PMDD.  🩸 For several days in a row about a week or so before my period, I feel down and sad.  I have zero energy, and just want to be quiet.  Life gets a bit overwhelming when this happens.  There is SO much work to be done, but I feel just stuck.  Where do I even start?  When PMDD gets involved, every ounce of effort I give to a project takes so much mental energy from me that I just can’t function.  

Sometimes, between the two, I feel like I’m useless.  I forget words that used to be a regular part of my vocabulary.  I lose track of what I’m talking about in the middle of it. 🤐 I try to pick something up and it just doesn’t work.  I can’t get it in my fingers.  How am I supposed to fulfill my purpose, without the use of my words and hands?

I used to think I was just clumsy.  Now though, I can see where it was MS popping in.  However, warmer temperatures will make things a lot better!  My body won’t be so cold, and my ears should dry up a bit.  It’s definitely looking good for next week over here.  Sunny 😎 most of the week, which means...dump runs galore!  Lots to do to fix up this house! 😁 

As far as MS goes, there’s not much I can do except be careful with my diet, and pay super close attention when doing things.  PMDD will eventually subside, once menopause fully takes place.  

Until then, it is what it is, right?  Make your life what you can.  I’m exploring different things on my end, and making necessary adjustments. I’m excited for the future! 

2021 really is the year of blessings for us all ❤️